he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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