He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize