well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
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i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize