I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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