I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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