atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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