She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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