Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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