TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
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Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
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He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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