i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Of course I have a pirate flag
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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