All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize