It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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