why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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