burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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