You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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