man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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