We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize