I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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