Did you just see the Batmobile???
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just forgot I was standing up.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize