I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize