The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I am naked and annoyed.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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