i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
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I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
that may or may not have been my penis.
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