We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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