respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
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drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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