id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
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I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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