we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
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Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
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I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Someone stole a lamp last night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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