there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
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I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
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We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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