I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize