There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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