Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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