Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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