those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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