So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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