she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize