I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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