why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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