wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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