My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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