I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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