I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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