You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize