just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
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getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
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Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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