If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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