Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize