i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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