I wish life had little blips of pornography
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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