Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize