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He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My cat gives me a boner
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
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