When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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