Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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